Archive | June, 2011

Ticket

29 Jun

All I wanted was a free ride.

I paid for the bus, I earned my passage, I just wanted to get home. But to transfer onto the light rail and complete my journey, I had to pay even more money.

I had bought an all day pass yesterday and didn’t want to buy another, so I decided to take my chances and get onto the light rail with out a ticket, hoping that I could get home before getting checked by the metro security.

However, dark clouds formed over my trip, only a couple stops after boarding. Security came onto the train and began checking tickets.

I was forced from a cool and quick ride home, to a long, hot walk in the 100°+ heat. My skin burned, face melted, clothes dampened and my desire to be productive evaporated.

What could have been a pleasant ride home in the morning, was turned into a soul crushing death march.

ConstantlySad.

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Bikram

28 Jun

All I wanted was to get through bikram yoga with ease…

But instead the 110 degree weather melted my energy, strength, and ultimately…my heart.

I had the image of bikram being so worthwhile today, especially after taking a long, sweat free, week off. However, as soon as I rolled out my mat in the dark, stale, room I knew I was wrong…so, dreadfully wrong.

I couldn’t breath.

I couldn’t keep my arms up in a 90 degree angle to my body.

Damn you arms. Once again you have failed my only goal.

As I watched my eyes start to blur not only from the sweat trickling down my face, but from the dehydration I thought… hoped… I could prevent, and felt my body slowly curl downward toward the dark, red towel on my mat that will soon soak up the failure slowling dripping off of my body like blood dripping off a broken heart…I knew I didn’t fulfill my bikram purpose today.

I didn’t stay up the whole time.

I blame you broken A/C in the apartment for dehydrating me…

Now, I am

ConstantlySad

Bus Rail

28 Jun Waiting for the Bus, ConstantlySad

All I wanted was to be home in my comfy clothes and eat dinner.

But instead I endured a day of humidity, delay and food poisoning.

It’s probably because I accidentally stole that bag of sea salt chips a week or two back.

You win universe.

You always do.

Seems a fair punishment. I sit on the light rail for an hour with no ac and in 115 degree weather.

True advocate of tough love, you are. Oh, now a creeper just sat next to me on the bus.

Touche.

ConstantlySad.

Homeless

27 Jun Homeless, ConstantlySad

All I want is a place to live. And keep my clothes.

I’m tired of not having a bed to sleep in. And using my trunk as a closet.

So today, I was excited to check out a potential house. Everything seemed great, the house was nice, and the potential roommate even had a dog- bonus! But, sadly, the house is in the middle of nowhere. On the side of a mountain. Away from friends, and more importantly, food.

So now I’m hungry, tired, and…

ConstantlySad.

Cereal

26 Jun

All I ever wanted was every type of cereal in the word at the tip of my spoon.

But today, when I longingly looked above the fridge, there were only five different types of cereal. I am unable to fulfill my dream of having a bowl filled with 9 million pieces of different types of cereal to start my day off right. Now I have started my day off wrong. Very, very wrong.

The cold milk that makes my life so full, is a pleasure that I know very well, but I am left with something missing. A lonely five types of cereal is just not enough to fill my void. Frosted, sugar, bread, chocolate chips, cookies, waffles, fruities, and tricky cereal…I want it all and more. But it is not given to me. I might as well have nothing.

My cereal box of life…is empty.

ConstantlySad.

Nylon

25 Jun Nylon Magazine, Photo: BRNFRRR, Flickr

All I wanted was a copy of Nylon Magazine.

To feel the glossy pages at my fingertips.
To flip through its contents; to marvel at its design, layout, content. Damn those writers are talented.

How I long to be the editor-in-chief of that magazine.

I felt my heartbeat quicken, simultaneous with my pace. Hectically harmonized.
I reach the magazine section and the sparkle in my eye dulls.

Of course Walmart doesn’t carry my all-time favorite magazine.

Off to Barnes and Noble I go. Way to prolong this moment, ruining my day.

ConstantlySad.

Awake

25 Jun

All I wanted was to stay awake.

I wanted to take the reins of the day and succeed as a productive person. I wanted to be awake in both body and mind to absorb the energy around me.

But I couldn’t.

Sleep took me…I was lost from 2 p.m. to 7 p.m. My body shut down, soon followed by my mind, I could not escape. When I awoke, the day had passed me by, much like life is passing me by. Nothing had been accomplished, no deed had been done.

The sunlight that powers my soul is dropping behind the mountains, like an owl dropping down from the sky to steal the life of a mouse scurrying along the forest floor.

I just wanted to stay awake today, and get my ground level life 3 inches off of the dirt. But I couldn’t…

ConstantlySad.