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20 Jul

All I wanted was to find my ipod cord.

The long white piece of string that not only transfers music into this magical device, but transfers my soul into a whole new world.

When my soul enters this magical world, I feel at peace. I feel accomplished. I feel as though I am a 7 year old child discovering the thrill of jumping into the pool for the first time. Running with excitement and joy with each step like the world can’t hold you back.

But slowly each step towards that pool is turning into dullness, hopelessness, and finally depression.

I jump into a pool full of despondency.

My whole new world  is now full of despondency…without my ipod cord.





16 Jul

All I wanted was a turkey sandwich.

Two pieces of bread, with some turkey in the middle. This is my snack of choice. Life becomes clear when I have a sandwich in my hands.

My body ascends into the clouds like the purest water evaporating into our sky. All I need is the tantalizing taste of turkey tickling my taste buds, and I am one with the comsos.

But when I reached for the bread, all that was left was the two end pieces. EWW GROSS! SICK! My face contorted in disgust as I almost violently threw up all over my kitchen, spewing chunks high into the air splashing lovingly against the ceiling, only to rain back down onto my face and into my mouth in a pukey rain haboob monsoon of barf.

Luckily I held it in long enough to charge to the front door, flail it open and hurtle the two disgusting bread ends into the air and away from my sight.

I slammed the door closed…my heart was in pieces and I was confused. I am no longer a drop of pure evaporating water. I am a stale beer, 1\3 of the way full and stinking up the room. How could the universe do this to me?

I can’t have a turkey sandwich today.



15 Jul

All I wanted was a worthy patronus.

A patronus that will finally describe myself as a wizard, not a muggle.

As I saw the Facebook application exploding all over my news feed to see which patronus a person would posses, excitement went viral throughout my body.


I hope I get something similar to Ron


My heart started to beat a little faster than normal, similar to the tempo Minus the Bear’s Knights drum intro.

Discover Your Patronus.


Think of a powerful memory.

A powerful memory? What is considered powerful? My heart’s tempo felt like it was at double time during a march. I started to panic. Is the memory I’m thinking of powerful enough? What if it’s not?

The symbols in the background started to crescendo, along with my anticipation.

One word dissolved onto the screen.


My heart stopped. I felt as though someone performed the immobulus charm on me. Disappointment washed over me as though someone empty a water jug full of it over my head. My eyelids became heavy as I looked down and shook my head to shake off all of the disgust I gained.

Then I peeked at the screen again.

“Your patronus is a cat. Cats are known for their intelligence and independence, as very capable hunters. The cat is the form of Dolores Umbridge’s patronus”

Dolores Umbridge.

The bitter cherry on top of my parfait of repugnance.

Someone please use the Avada Kedavra spell on me, because this patronus is the true Unforgivable Curse.

Cats make me…



Hopes and Dreams

14 Jul


All I wanted was to make an entry in this blog.

For days, weeks, I’ve racked my brain to come up with a worthy entry. I wanted to be among those whose continuous misery surpassed that of America during the Great Depression, was beyond that even experienced by America as President Bush entered his second term.

Perhaps not that depressed. But close.

Then, yesterday, a miracle occurred. In my dreams last night I came up with the perfect entry, an entry dripping in the metaphorical tears of a thousand hungry children. A post that could stand up proudly alongside the wonderful disasters found here in this blog.

And then. I forgot.

I could not remember, no matter how hard I tried. I woke up with the excitement of a six year old on Christmas morning but in five minutes my ecstasy was dashed upon the sidewalk like a hit-and-run victim’s brains.

Perhaps I will never be able to make an entry to this blog. And that makes me…



1 Jul

All I wanted was a decent car.

A car that will fulfill it’s only purpose in life…being able to travel distances.

But no, I have the car that likes to break down every chance it gets.

This time around the car likes to overheat. Overheat in a town that is already 113 degrees daily, causing me to burn inside the black box of death. Go ahead dodge stratus, keep burning up…burn my soul to fire-y ashes which will ultimately rise up the temperature of my anger to the point where it will explode in a mass of destruction similar to smashing an atom.

yeah. that big.

The heat is getting to me.

Jacob black has nothing on me…118 degrees my ass.

….”I drive a dodge stratus.” Will Ferrel, you should not be proud of this….For I, am not.

Dodges make me..


[image] Resource. [Online] Available, July 1, 2011.


28 Jun

All I wanted was to get through bikram yoga with ease…

But instead the 110 degree weather melted my energy, strength, and ultimately…my heart.

I had the image of bikram being so worthwhile today, especially after taking a long, sweat free, week off. However, as soon as I rolled out my mat in the dark, stale, room I knew I was wrong…so, dreadfully wrong.

I couldn’t breath.

I couldn’t keep my arms up in a 90 degree angle to my body.

Damn you arms. Once again you have failed my only goal.

As I watched my eyes start to blur not only from the sweat trickling down my face, but from the dehydration I thought… hoped… I could prevent, and felt my body slowly curl downward toward the dark, red towel on my mat that will soon soak up the failure slowling dripping off of my body like blood dripping off a broken heart…I knew I didn’t fulfill my bikram purpose today.

I didn’t stay up the whole time.

I blame you broken A/C in the apartment for dehydrating me…

Now, I am


End of Learning.

24 Jun Education, ConstantlySad

Summer Program for kids at ASU ended today.

Ended. Like how my life would be when the zombie apocalypse starts.

All this program did was help students excel in school and learn material in a fun way…and now it’s gone.

Gone, like when that $5 bill flew out of my hand and into the wind, landing in the ocean and leaving my life forever.

How are kids supposed to excel now? By counting the kills they get on Call of Duty? By writing incorrectly on their Facebook statuses?

…it’s ridiculous.

Make us pay more tuition and take away a great program for children.